Why New Jersey is Awesome: Reason 4

Avalon, NJ

The fact that Avalon is a part of the world-famous Jersey Shore should be enough of an explanation as to why it is so awesome. You, me, your mom and everyone else know that the Jersey Shore cannot be topped, just like everything else in New Jersey of course. But I'm not here to only write two sentences. I'm here to waste much more of your time than that, and give you a little look into why Avalon, NJ is such an awesome town.

Avalon, NJ is like a melting pot of all the great things that make up the different towns of the Jersey Shore. Are you in the mood for the many culinary delights that make New Jersey so awesome? Start working up your appetite. Do you want to hit the bars and spend your beach weekend three sheets to the wind while making bad decisions? Go for it. Would you rather instead find a quiet spot on the beach to relax away from the drunk kids and senior citizens? Yep, do that too. How about heading to the beach to work on your tan? "Steve, I can do that anywhere, not just in Avalon, NJ" you might be saying right now. Well loyal reader, that's where you're wrong. In Avalon, skin cancer is not possible. Therefore, you don't have to wear sunblock. Ever. And you get a sweet tan, or in my case the lobster burn. It's a fact. Look it up.

I could go on forever talking about the many different things you can do in Avalon that are totally awesome and unique to the town. But I'll keep it brief and give you a little list here, with photographic support, of some of the things in Avalon that are better than places like them anywhere else in the world.

Circle Pizza

Home of the best buffalo chicken pizza in the world. Take what you know about buff chix pizza and throw it out the window. This will change your life, at least twice a day if I have my way.

Jack's

A bar that plays host to the best cover bands in America. You want 80's? You got it. 90's? You got that too. The songs they play are better than the famous artists that originally performed them. Pure, unadulterated art.

Pirate Island Golf

Designed by Jack Nicklaus himself, this miniature golf course is rated as the most challenging course in the world, but also rated as the most fun. You can swashbuckle your way through 18 holes of unmitigated glory and ecstasy, but be ready for a challenge.

Avalon Freeze

World-famous ice cream shop, and home to the world-famous "Avalon Freezer," which is like a Dairy Queen Blizzard on steroids. Legal steroids, of course. Eating a freezer is like winning the lottery of ice cream. Only you can win this lottery as many times a day as you want. You're rich with ice cream and toppings!

The Real Enchilada

The locals pronounce the "Real" in the name like you would in Real Madrid the soccer team, but you don't have to be from Avalon to enjoy this delicious, authentic Mexican cuisine. The food here is so good, that ever since the day it opened, record amounts of illegal immigrants have been pouring into the US from Mexico just so they can get a taste of the best Mexican food on the planet. They call it, "La comida mas grande del mundo!"

The Shipwreck Sundae

Yep, more world-renowned ice cream. The Shipwreck Sundae, served daily at the Buccaneer Ice Cream Parlor in Avalon, is a testament, and tribute, to the awesomest of the 7 deadly sins, gluttony. 12 scoops of ice cream and every topping in the store, all perfectly presented in authentic pirate hats stolen right off the heads of Blackbeard's crew during the Great Avalon Pirate Purge of 1761. Think you can conquer the Shipwreck? Better bring your friends...

Bobby Dee's Rock 'N Chair

In the mood for a little late night cougar hunting? Well the Rock N' Chair is just the place for you, as the horniest cougars in the world are here and on the prowl, waiting to be tamed by 20-something men everywhere. Are you a girl and feeling left out here because you don't hunt cougars? Fear not! Mountain lions roam these plains as well, so saddle up and get ready for a feast!

So as you can see, Avalon, NJ does many things better than any other place in the world does those things. The buffalo chicken pizza is better, the ice cream is sweeter, the cougars are crazier... Avalon is, in a word, awesome. More awesome than wherever you are at this very moment. That is, unless you are in Avalon right now. And if you are, what are you reading this for?! Go out and begin your day of euphoria!