Monday Morning Brain Fart - 8/31

Tonight we watched one of the great movies of my time here on this earth, Terminator 2: Judgement Day. What a classic. Not only because of the story, and how it was one of the first CG-intensive movies made in Hollywood, but because of the sheer amount of classic lines delivered by everyone's favorite governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. The lines by themselves, such as "I swear I will not kill anybody" and "He'll live" don't look terribly exciting on paper, but when you combine his impeccable delivery with that famous accent and the circumstances surrounding the lines in the movie, you get all-time great dialogue. I could watch this movie everyday and it would never get old. "Hasta la vista... baby."

My friend Rick (last name deleted) had his annual barbecue out at his mom's crib on Long Island, or Strong Island, as the frat-boy guido locals are apt to call it. We were expecting the worst on the drive out there because all weathermen and weatherwomen were making a big deal about how Hurricane Danny was going to put Long Island under water, kill all of the animals and plant-life, and force humans to evolve into aquatic creatures. This actually turned out to be a good thing, because no one from the city drove out to go to the beach, so as a result there was no traffic going out. It also turned out that Hurricane Danny was no more than Light Sprinkle Danny, as we only encountered a few minutes of mist on the way out. It was a truly delightful ride. As for the party itself, it was a hoot, as usual. Lots of food and adult beverages consumed at a rapid pace, which is always enjoyable. Even though the pool was freezing because it was filled with rain water from the storm the previous night, we played pool pong on a neat floating table, which I highly recommend you do if given the chance. There also isn't anything quite like watching Grillmaster Rick (last name deleted) man the grill with his "Ithaca is Gorges" apron and barbecue tool belt. It's like watching Picasso paint or Emeril cook. Artistry at work.

Saturday night, in addition to it being Rick (last name deleted)'s party, it was the annual Giants-Jets preseason matchup for bragging rights on whose 3rd stringers are better. I obviously didn't get a chance to watch because we were enjoying the festivities, but from what I have heard and read, the Giants still have some work to do, particularly at the wide receiver position, which has been the biggest question mark this whole offseason. Steve Smith dropped a perfectly thrown deep ball from Eli Manning that would have been a 90 yard touchdown pass, and the other receivers had some bad drops as well. Rookie first-round pick Hakeem Nicks was the only one who actually showed up, with 6 catches for 144 yards and 2 touchdowns, which is fantastic news. Our defense also didn't play so great, letting the Jets new Latin Lover Quarterback, Mark Sanchez, tear them up and play really well. Overall, it seemed that it was a better effort from the G-Men than the last game against Chicago, but there is still a lot to be done before our season opener.

When we drove back from Long Island to Jersey City this morning, I was expecting the ride to be fairly uneventful because no one had gone out to the beach on Saturday, so there should have been no one returning to the city or Jersey on Sunday. Boy was I wrong. There was a ton of traffic on the LIE around Flushing Meadows in Queens because of the US Open, but the absolute worst was getting into the Holland Tunnel in Manhattan. Talk about a clusterfuck. 20 different streets in the city cram all the way down to 2 lanes heading into the tunnel, which leads to many different times where you are sitting at a red light, it turns green, and then turns back to red without you moving even an inch. It is absolutely, completely miserable, made even moreso because we were all hungover from the party. I don't think I could ever commute into and out of the city by car on an everyday basis. This one trip flooded my brain with thoughts of homicide - I can't imagine having to do it everyday.

I had my fantasy football draft today for the league I run that involves a little cashmoney wager. Fantasy drafts are fun, especially when half the league is drafting with you in your living room and we order a ton of wings and pizza. I drafted 6th in a 10-team league, and here is what I ended up with:

QB: Matt Schaub, Carson Palmer
RB: DeAngelo Williams, Ryan Grant, Pierre Thomas, Marshawn Lynch, Leon Washington
WR: Reggie Wayne, Hines Ward, Kevin Walter, Earl Bennett
TE: Antonio Gates, John Carlson
K: Mason Crosby
DEF: San Diego

I have to say I'm pretty happy with my draft. I actually had Matt Schaub autopicked for me because my computer froze just as it was going to be my turn, which was frustrating, but it could be a good pick if he stays healthy. Getting Marshawn Lynch fairly late in the draft was awesome since he's a first-round back that has been dropping since he'll be suspended for the first 3 games of the year because of gun charges. At least he didn't shoot himself in the thigh! Pierre Thomas could be good too because Reggie Bush is soft. Earl Bennett is my sleeper pick this year who I absolutely had to have, because I think he's going to be awesome with Jay Cutler as the QB in Chicago since they played together in college. He could be huge for me. Antonio Gates is consistent production at the tight end position, which is great to have. And hopefully A Whale's Vagina's defense turns it around this year and gets back to being dominant.

I'm watching the Broncos-Bears game tonight, which is of course Jay Cutler's first game back in Denver after he spent the offseason crying his way out of town. The reception he received was certainly not surprising. If I was a Denver fan I know I would boo the shit out of him. The Sunday night game is of course called by Al Michaels, who is paired with Cris Collinsworth this year after John Madden retired. Michaels must be doing cartwheels since now he has the best color analyst in the game in Collinsworth next to him, as opposed to a guy who draws penises all over the field and gives insight along the lines of, "Whichever team scores the most points will win the game." Nothing against John Madden, but he had begun to slip in recent years. That being said, I always enjoyed listening to him, and despite his shortcomings, he was one of the best. I'll miss him, but it'll be great to listen to Collinsworth every week, who is always interesting and tells you a lot of things about the game that you wouldn't normally notice.

I'm tired. My apologies for a lackluster Brain Fart.

Ugh. Another week of work.