Monday Morning Brain Fart - 8/10

ATTENTION PLEASE: You can now stop your women and children from crying, because the Brain Fart is back!

I think it's impossible for the Yankees and the Red Sawx to play a game that finishes in a timely manner. It always seems that their games take over 4 hours, even when they end after your typical 9 innings. Perhaps it's because the pressure to beat each other is so great that both managers over-manage and make more moves than need to be made, therefore leading to greater length in game time. Or maybe it's just that the games are so good that they purposefully take forever so as to prolong the fans torture/ecstasy. Either way, Friday night was another example of a Yankees-Sawx game that took forever, this one going 15 innings and checking in at about 5 and a half hours. The Yanks had a couple of chances in the bottom of the 14th to win it, chances that may or may not have made Rory and I pee ourselves and Dad temporarily emerge from dozing off, but when those were turned away, we were sure the game was going to go 20 innings at least and keep us up until 6:00 am. Thankfully A-Rod, who is every Sawx fan's favorite Yankee, ended it with a walk-off home run in the 15th at about 1:00 am. Thank you A-Rod for letting me go to bed finally!

After finally emerging from my slumber on Saturday morning at around noon, I was treated to my mother's delicious homemade banana-blueberry pancakes. Mmmmmmmmmm. Then I was treated to something else, only this time it was sickening. It was David Ortiz' press conference addressing the report that he tested positive for steroids in 2003. First off let me begin by saying that they need to just release the whole list and get this over with for crying out loud. The slow trickle of names being released is slowly killing baseball. We get one name, then a few weeks to analyze it, then another few weeks to get over it and just concentrate on enjoying the game, and then BOOM! Another name. It's frustrating. Just release the damn list already. Second, this press conference was a farce. Ortiz gave the same old tired excuse that everyone did, that he never knowingly took steroids and that maybe it was a supplement he bought over the counter, yadda yadda yadda. CoughcoughcoughBULLSHIT!coughcoughcough. I wish someone would step up, be a man, and just say, "Yeah, I did steroids. They weren't outlawed by baseball at the time, and everyone was doing it, so I just figured I needed to get that extra edge to catch up with everyone else. Now they're banned by the sport, so I don't do them anymore, but they weren't banned back then, so why shouldn't I have done it?" It would be refreshing, to say the least, but don't count on it ever happening. No players have the balls to say that, nor would the player's union ever let them. Shame.

I had my first live fantasy draft Saturday at my cousin's in Pennsyltucky. This one was unusual though in that most of the participants in the league have kids, all of which were running around screaming there heads off trying to get their daddy's attention while he decided whether or not he should gamble a pick on Reggie Bush now that his woman has left him and he no longer has that big booty to go home to. It was really quite funny actually. The live drafts are fun though, as it's way easier to make fun of someone's ridiculous pick in person than to have to type it into an instant messenger window. My team is amazing, by the way, and if any of you in the league are reading this, you should probably just quit now. Yeah that's right, quit now, before the season has even started. My kicker is Phil Dawson - 'nuff said. A special shout out to my cousin Kevin here, who made the greatest pick in fantasy football history with his 1st round pick, the 1st overall pick of the entire draft: Eli Manning. Oh HELL YEAH.

Sunday, one of my best friends Holly and her fiancee Michael got married, so Megan, Rory and I got all spiffed up in our Sunday best and headed out to Cranbury, NJ for one helluva party. The event began with a pre-ceremony cocktail hour, which, to me, was a novel and fantastic idea, one that I had never seen before. Then came the ceremony, followed by the post-ceremony cocktail hour, and finally the reception. Good times were had by some incredibly good-looking people, and it was awesome to see Holly and Michael so ridiculously happy on the first day of the rest of their lives together. Congratulations to the both of you!

After the wedding, we went to an after-party with the newlyweds at the uber-classy Westin in Princeton, NJ. Those of us in Jersey City who took part in Suit Up! night know how classy a Westin can be, and can imagine the time that was had. Thankfully, they had the Yankees-Sawx game on there, and we were able to watch Johnny Damon and Mark Teixeira go BACK TO BACK, AND A BELLY TO BELLY!!! to send the Sawx back to Boston crying like little schoolgirls who just had their Jonas Brothers lunch box stolen from them. I was also able to show a few friends of mine who are Patriots fans the replay of Super Bowl XLII that I have on my iPhone, which is always a good time, especially when they get mad. Yes that's right, I have Super Bowl XLII on my iPhone. And yes, I watch it at least twice a week. Some might say I'm living in the past. I say I'm living in the moment, the greatest moment of my life.

Ugh. Another week of work.