Monday Morning Brain Fart - 8/17

The DirecTV PGA Championship mix channel is awesome. You get the main channel, the marquee group - which is always Tiger's group, the par 3s, and an in-depth player profile channel, all mixed onto one screen. You can then select which specific channel you want watch full screen. This is great because we could just watch Tiger the whole time and not waste our time on other golfers we couldn't give a rat's ass about. Phil Mickelson is certainly worth the ass of a rat, however, he has been out of this tournament for a while.

Mark Sanchez to David Clowney! Not bad for his first pass in the NFL, despite the fact that it's in a preseason game. I can tell you that Rory was certainly excited. But the most important thing to consider here is how you could ever be taken seriously as a football player when your last name is Clowney. It doesn't exactly exude toughness and bravado, but instead evokes the image of a mascot who scares the hell out of little children and cackles in creepy ways. He could get very creative with his touchdown dances, however, playing off of the clown character, though we know he'll get fined excessively by the No Fun League for that. Also, it was good to see my man Spags in the house too. He'll be great for St. Louis as their head coach, and we'll certainly miss him with the Giants.

We visited some of Jersey City's finest drinking establishments Friday night. There was the York St. Tavern, which occasionally resembles one of the dance clubs in the Step Up movies, the Iron Monkey, which features a delightful open-air deck to hang out on, and of course, the Golden Cicada, which is one of the most obscure whole-in-the-wall bars you will ever go to. It's literally a small brick box with no windows that is run by the chinese mafia and is a purveyor of only the finest chinese moonshines. Mmmmmmmmm, delicious. And very classy, I might add.

I just watched "What Happens in Vegas" with Rory, the man who loves romantic comedies just a liiiiiiittle too much. It was predictably awful, mainly because Ashton Kutcher is one of the most horrific actors you will ever see on the big screen. There were a few decent moments, but mostly it was pretty stupid and completely predictable - and yet I found it oddly entertaining. I now hate myself.

The English Premier League is back! Thank Christ because now I have something to watch on Saturday mornings when I wake up before college football comes on. My favorite team is Queens Park Rangers, or QPR as they're more commonly known, but they are in England's second division and are not good enough to be on TV here in America. So today I had to settle for Everton and Arsenal. Final score: 6-1 Arsenal. Ouch. Poor Tim Howard, who is Everton's goalie, and of course the main man in goal for the US men's team. And poor my fantasy team, whose goalie is none other than Tim Howard. An inauspicious start to the season for my team, to be sure.

I just read that Andre Brown, the Giants 4th round pick who was going to be either our 3rd or 4th running back behind Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad "Man Crush" Bradshaw this year, ruptured his achilles tendon during practice Friday night and is out for the year. It's definitely a shame because not only do you hate to see someone's season end before it even begins, but he was reminding a lot of people of Derrick Ward, so this could potentially be a big loss for the G-Men. Danny Ware - time to step up.

I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden this weekend Megan became a psycho golf fan, when before she couldn't have cared less about the sport. It started on Thursday when she told me she was watching it at work, which I just figured was because she was bored. But it turned out to be a serious weekend obsession, as I could not drag her away from the golf on TV. She says it's because it's Tiger's last chance to win a major this year and she's rooting for him, but I think it's because she thinks Vijay Singh is a hottie.

I finally overcame my arch-nemesis Rory in our Madden 07 franchise this afternoon. It was a close game in the 4th quarter until I blocked a punt and subsequently scored on the following drive, putting the game out of reach. Lately he has been killing me, so this made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I'll see you in the playoffs, Ror! One more thing about our franchise - I am the Cleveland Browns, but am moving them out of Cleveland after this season to become the Anchorage Baboons. Yes Cleveland, that's right, your football team is leaving you again. Browns fans must be suicidal at the thought of this happening. And yes, Madden is real.

We just saw The Goods in theaters. It was pretty good (no pun intended), and had some ridiculously funny moments. I also thought that Jeremy Piven did a decent enough job of making you forget about Ari Gold, as his character in the movie was different enough from Entourage's best character. But I couldn't help but think that it could have been just a little bit better. It cut some corners on the story, which sometimes you can forgive if the movie is completely hilarious, but this one wasn't. The Goods - Good, not great, and slightly unsatisfying. Not a DVD purchase.

My family had a BBQ this afternoon with some very close family friends that we hadn't seen in a long time. Good times were had by all as it was great catching up with them. Afterwards, I was VERY surprised to find out that Tiger had choked all over his lead on Sunday at the PGA Championship and had lost a major for the first time in his career after leading after the 3rd round. He lost to some guy name Y. E Yang. Y.E. Yang? Who the hell is that? Sounds like some sort of chic Hollywood chinese food restaurant. But anyway, is this a bad sign for Tiger? Perhaps a sign that he actually is human and may be slightly declining after dominating all these years? I think he'll be fine, but whereas it was a virtual certainty that he was going to catch Jack Nicklaus' record of major victories not too long ago, I'm not so sure that that same guarantee exists anymore. We shall see.

We watched Tomorrow Never Dies tonight, which is Pierce Brosnan's second-best Bond film, behind Goldeneye of course. Brosnan was a really good Bond, and though the movies got really stupid after Tomorrow, I was always entertained by them. But after watching him as Bond for the first time in a while tonight, it was really clear how much better of a Bond Daniel Craig is. The last two Bond films starring Craig, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, were far and away better films than any that Brosnan did. I couldn't get over how good Casino Royale was after I had seen it, and I can still watch it over and over again without it getting old. I hope Craig does 15 more Bond films, they're that good.

Ugh. Another week of work.