Monday Morning Brain Fart - 7/13

Watched Kindergarten Cop tonight. It is truly a hallmark of American cinema. Not just because of the gripping story line and the well-developed characters, but because of the sheer amount of classic Arnold Schwartzenegger quotes in it. His twisting, ridiculous face while shouting "SHUT UP!" at the kids is the definition of fine method acting. "STOP WHINING!" is another Arnold classic that will go down in the annals of American movie history as one of its finest moments. Even "It's not a TOOMAH!" evokes comparisons to Brando, Bogart and other legendary actors. I could probably go on forever, but let me just finish with this: I know you've seen the movie, but do yourself a favor and watch it again. You'll thank me.

Now I'm watching The Final Season, a ridiculously cliched and awful movie about a high school baseball team in Iowa that is playing out its last season before they merge with another high school. Sean Astin, of 24 and Rudy fame, plays the head coach, who is following in the footsteps of a legend. They of course make it to the state championship game, and they of course are facing a pitcher who is being followed by pro scouts. Yawn. Rudy's pregame speech in the locker room wasn't even inspiring. I feel like I've seen this story before in about 100 other crappy sports movies. Don't waste your time.

It obviously has been a really awful time for Steve McNair's widow after his death last week. But the worst part of this is that not only has she lost her husband, but she found out he was cheating on her, and now stories are coming out about his affairs with strippers and such. I couldn't feel worse for her. Really sad stuff.

Time for the annual Rick (last name deleted) Mets BBQ! Every year Rick, of Why New Jersey is Awesome: Reason 3 fame, and his family get together a BBQ in the parking lot at a Mets game. About 120-150 people come, and there is more booze and BBQ'ing than you can shake a stick at. Believe me, you can shake a stick at a lot of booze and BBQ. Anyway, the only downside is that the BBQ is at a Mets game, so when we eventually stumble into the stadium at around the 5th inning, we see Queens' only minor league baseball team. We all know the Yankees would be a better choice. But despite the poor quality of baseball that the Mets play, it is always a great time. On to more day drinking!

While at the Mets BBQ, lots of beer is consumed. Said beer comes from cans, which is then poured into the traditional plastic red cup, so as not to violate any open container laws. After the beer is poured from the can, the can is then placed in a black garbage bag for proper recycling. Here is where one of the funniest parts of the day come in, for me (though it may be funny just because I'm incredibly drunk). After the can bags start filling up, tiny homeless people come flocking to the BBQ so they can retrieve our cans and cash them in at recycling centers. The smiles on their faces are priceless, like they have just won the homeless people lottery. I like to call it the Mets BBQ Community Outreach Program, and hot damn is it successful!

I grew up a big Atlanta Braves fan along with my best friend from elementary school. We watched them on TBS because they were on all of the time, and our favorite player was David Justice. So being that I am a Braves fan, seeing Jeff Francoeur in a Mets uniform tonight at the Mets game was fairly sad for me. It wasn't as bad as seeing Tom Glavine in the hated Mets uniform, but it was close. We were in the front row in centerfield during the game, and I was trying to get "Frenchy's" attention by screaming some drunken nonsense at him, telling him how much I was going to miss him and it was sad that I have to hate him now. He didn't pay any attention to me. Consider my heart broken.

We had dinner tonight at the Pancake Factory, aka the Greatest Diner in History, and for the first time I had something other than breakfast food there. First off, they don't call it the Pancake Factory for nothing, as they make the best pancakes I have ever tasted. Ever. Second, one of my favorite things to do is eat breakfast for dinner, or brinner, as I like to call it. But I decided to give some of their other fare a shot tonight, and the verdict was: EXCELLENT. I had a very tasty buffalo chicken wrap with some delightfully seasoned curly fries. I was quite satisfied, and now I can now recommend the dinner food at the Pancake Factory to you in confidence.

Sunday TV Wrap: I watched the second episode of Hung on HBO, and I definitely thought it was better than the premiere, which was used more or less to set up the story. I think the show has some serious potential, so I'll be back for more definitely. Watch it if you haven't yet. The new season of Entourage began as well tonight, and I thought it was a great episode. I'm one of the few who don't think it has tailed off in recent seasons. I'm always entertained by the show, and was once again tonight. Even if you think the show sucks though, you should still watch it just to see one of the great characters in TV today, Lloyd. He is priceless. And finally, I watched the second to last episode of Daisy of Love, and ***SPOILER ALERT*** surprise surprise London is in the finale, along with 12 Pack and Flex. Should be entertaining, and hopefully Flex finally gives in to his anger and kills someone! Also, VH1 was promoting two of their upcoming shows that I would rather eat human shit than watch, Megan Wants a Millionaire, which features D-List VH1 whore Megan Hauserman, who I may actually hate more than the Philadelphia Eagles, and The T.O. Show, which of course features Terrell Owens, someone I definitely hate more than the Philadelphia Eagles. Please scoop out my eyeballs and feed them to me if I ever watch those shows.

Ugh. Another week of work.