Do celebrities really always die in 3's?

I've heard the saying a million times, and I know you have as well. Celebrities always die in threes. It's a ridiculous theory, but events that have occurred over the years have given the saying at least some merit. And seeing as celebrities have been dropping like flies over the past few weeks, I decided to investigate the theory using celebrities that have passed within the last two months. My dear Watson, the evidence please.

David Carradine - June 3

Carradine, star of the famed 70s television series Kung Fu, movies such as the Kill Bill series, and most famously, made a guest-appearance on Disney's Lizzie McGuire, was found dead in his hotel in Thailand after reportedly choking himself to death performing some sort of freaky sex act. The circumstances surrounding his death are either interesting or repulsive. I'm leaning toward repulsive. Who knows what that hooker was doing pre-mortem.

Ed McMahon - June 23

The noted television personality was Johnny Carson's announcer and sidekick from 1962-1992, as well as a decorated war veteran from WWII and Korea. Being a youngin, I only know him as the face of Publisher's Clearing House, a contest my parents were never lucky enough to win, therefore never making my life significantly more comfortable (thanks Mom and Dad for NOTHING). He more or less died of old age.

Farrah Fawcett - June 25

Fawcett was most famously an original member of Charlie's Angels, who became a worldwide sex symbol due to her role in the show. You'll see here her famous pin-up poster that lead many an American, male youth to discover what exactly a boner is. It is the best-selling poster of all time. Personally, I think she did her finest work in the 1995 classic, Man of the House, where she co-starred with Chevy Chase as Squatting Dog and Jonathan Taylor Thomas as Little Wing. I know you agree with me there. She unfortunately passed away due to cancer.

Michael Jackson - June 25

Jackson, the retired little boy-toucher (allegedly) who occasionally dabbled in pop music back in the day, made many a musical hit, such as Fat and Eat It (wait, those were by Weird Al?). The King of Pop popularized the music video with his 1982 opus, Thriller, and also created one of the defining albums of our time, the Free Willy soundtrack. MJ passed from a heart attack.

Billy Mays - June 28

Mays, who had one of most meticulously groomed beards you will ever see, was famous for being a TV pitchman who pushed several "As Seen on TV" products like OXYCLEAN!!, ORANGE GLO!!!!, MIGHTY PUTTY!!!!!! and the AWESOME AUGER!!!! His budding rivalry with ShamWow Vince in the infomercial industry was soon to be the stuff of legends, along the lines of Ali-Frazier, Bird-Magic and Lauren Conrad-Heidi Montag. Alas, it was not to be, as ShamWow Vince made the eternal mistake of beating a hooker, while Mays sadly passed due to complications from heart disease. It could have been epic.

Steve McNair - July 4

"Air" McNair was so good in college that he finished third in the 1994 Heisman Trophy voting despite going to D1-AA Alcorn State. He was picked third overall in 1995 by the Tennessee Titans (they were the Houston Oilers at that point), and went on to become one of the best QBs in the game. His most famous moment was in Super Bowl XXXIV, when he led the Titans to within 1 yard of tying the St. Louis Rams after a stirring final drive in regulation. McNair was the victim of a murder-suicide by his troubled girlfriend.

Oscar G. Mayer, Jr. - July 6

He was the third Oscar Mayer to head the famed hot dog company until his retirement in 1977. Mayer is not really a celebrity I suppose, but the wienermobile is AWESOME, so I thought he deserved mention here.

Walter Cronkite - July 17

Cronkite is perhaps America's most famous journalist, and was anchor of the CBS Evening News for 19 years from 1962-1981. "The Most Trusted Man in America" brought us the news of JFK's assassination, Watergate, and the Iran Hostage Crisis, among other notable events, all while becoming an icon in the process. He was taken from us at the age of 92 by cerebral vascular disease.

So as you can see from the evidence above, the saying celebrities always die in threes is absolutely, 100% wrong. They only sometimes die in threes. Carradine died on June 3, while the next celebrity death didn't occur for another 20 days. No celebrities died in the days before him either, so his death was a mostly isolated one. However, the deaths came fast and furious after that, with a group of three consisting of McMahon, Fawcett and Jackson being taken from us in a period of 3 days. The next group of 3 followed shortly thereafter, with Mays, McNair, and Oscar Mayer passing away in a span of 8 days. 11 days later, Cronkite passed, so either 2 more celebrities will shortly follow, or none of them will. Because as the saying goes, celebrities sometimes die in threes.