Why New Jersey is Awesome: Reason 11

The Super Bowl is coming to New Jersey!



That's right folks, Super Bowl XLVIII (or 48 for those of you unfamiliar with roman numerals) will be played in the great state of New Jersey, the greatest of all the states in this great country. Traditionally, the Super Bowl is played in either warm weather cities or in domed stadiums so that inclement weather is not an issue for the game. But this year, the NFL decided to do something bold, something groundbreaking, something historic. And when it came to making history, where did they come to? New Jersey. There really was only 1 choice when it came to picking the best place to host the first Super Bowl in a cold weather climate, and that place is the most incredible place anyone can think of - New Jersey. You will hear many people say that this Super Bowl is being hosted by New York City. That is fallacy. It is being hosted by New Jersey, the most extraordinary place in the USA.

A couple of quick notes on the stadium that will host Super Bowl XLVIII:

- It's called the New Giants Stadium.

Ok! Enough of the notes. Now, a lot of people (specifically those from warm weather climates or those whose bids were turned down in favor of New Jersey) are bitching and moaning about how the Super Bowl is going to be played in the cold weather. It's gonna be too cold! It's gonna be too snowy! Waaaahhhhhhhh!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! STOP CRYING. It's not going to be played in cold weather. It's going to be played in manly weather. So take out your tampon, remove the skirt, and get ready for the championship of football to be played in the weather that the game was meant to be played in, pussies.

So now that a cold weather site has gotten the Super Bowl, all the other cold weather cities with no domes on their stadiums are coming out of the woodwork and saying they should get the Super Bowl too. Let me name you those places and tell you why they should never get the game that is only reserved for the most elite plot of land in this world, New Jersey:

Green Bay - Shit no! Where are people going to stay? The neighborhood homes that surround the stadium. Idiots.

Cincinnati - Why the hell would you want to go to Cincinnati?

Washington - That shitty sports city? I don't think so. The Capitals are you're only good team, and they choke every year. You have to win every once in a while to get the Super Bowl.

New England - The Nation deserves nothing. Sorry.

Denver - They'd talk about the elevation about as much as they talk about Bert Farvee right now. I don't think so.

Cleveland - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry, that was funny.

Pittsburgh - All the offensive lineman would gorge themselves on Primanti Bros. and die from cardiac arrest within 16 minutes of arriving. No go.

Baltimore - You've seen The Wire right?

Seattle - The 12th Man doesn't have nearly the influence to pull this off.

Buffalo - The Super Bowl should NEVER be in Canada, so sorry Buffalo.

Philadelphia - Why would you host the country's most important sporting event in the country's shittiest city?

So you see why the NFL would come to New Jersey to host it's most important event? Everywhere else sucks, and New Jersey is the most amazing place you could possibly be in life. It's not just the best cold weather place for the Super Bowl, it's the best place, period. It's going to be funny when Roger Goodell decides to host the Super Bowl in New Jersey every year once he sees how incredible it's going to be in 2014. Good, nay, great decision NFL owners. You won't be sorry. No one is ever sorry when they come to the most unbelievably awesome place in the world, New Jersey.