Monday night's episode of 24 was so good I almost had a seizure. Let's get right to the review, with the help of our handy character guide:
1) Arlo Glass - Was starting to figure things out because Jason Pillar was being douchy to him, and after Chloe convinced him to help her, he has put all of his eggs in the basket of justice. Works well with a Sprint Mobile HotSpot.
2) BITCH - DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
3) Charles Logan - Cute when he was picking out which fancy tie to wear. And very obviously consumed with having his "good" name restored by the President because he's fixing all of her problems. Of course, by fixing all of her problems I actually mean ruining her life. His neck fat has that extra special wiggle to it when Jason calls with bad news.
4) Chloe O'Brian - Once again, Chloe has figured out a way around whatever government firewalls that are set up to stop her from getting the job done. A true goddess when it comes to networking and saving countries.
5) Cole Ortiz - Poor Cole is so conflicted. He wants to help Jack. He doesn't want to help Jack. He knows Jack is after justice. He knows Jack doesn't want justice, just revenge. He hates BITCH. He still deep down loves BITCH. BITCH is dead... Cole has had better days certainly. His sass towards Jason Pillar was fun times though!
6) Renee Walker - Such a huge tease when we saw Renee at the beginning of the "Previously on 24" section wearing nothing but a sheet and Jack's love sweat. I miss her. A moment of silence please.
Thank you.
7) Jack Bauer - For the second time in recent weeks, he was 1 step ahead of a plot to capture him, this time taking out an entire crew of Russian mercenaries in the middle of a crowded mall. He is literally unstoppable. Then after he and Mr. Blonde captured the stoned Russian Pavel, he absolutely tortured the SHIT out of him. He is absolutely crazed. When the Russian said, "Go to hell" and Jack responded with, "You first," I actually squirted out a little pee. Then when he cut the guy's guts out and fished the SIM card out of his stomach - holy crap! Jack is my hero.
8) Jason Pillar - All smug and shit until he realized that it's Jack Bauer he's chasing, not some run-of-the-mill ex-marine. He seems to think he's God's gift to this earth, or at least God's gift to Charles Logan, but when Jack kills him too it will be totally awesome.
9) Allison Taylor - Looks like she's going to cry at any moment, especially when Logan continues to give her bad news. That bitch slap from Dalia Hassan that we all know is coming is going to be sweeeeeet.
10) Ethan Kanin - Resting comfortably at home while President Taylor falls apart at the seams without his guidance. I hope he has sufficiently recovered from his heart attack so that he's ready to go when he's elected President for the movie while Taylor and Logan rot in prison together for covering up the Russian's scam.
Other random thoughts on Monday night's episode:
- Meredith Reed has entirely too much plastic surgery in her cheeks. It looks like it's impossible for her to smile, not that she could ever see anything funny because her gigantic cheeks are pushing her eyes closed.
- Mr. Blonde cracks me up. He's got all this weaponry and high-tech gear, can spy on everyone in the world at the push of a button... and he fails to realize the ol' drop-your-cell-phone-on-the-ground-and-swallow-the-SIM-card trick. Come on Michael!
- Jason Pillar's assistant Eden is probably the only hot computer nerd in this world. She's a techie geek's wet dream. Wouldn't be surprised if she ate a little Pillar dong when they fogged up the windows in the CTU Director's office.
- It's already unfair for the world when it's Jack Vs. The World... but now they're going to give him a full body armor suit next week?!? jsdgjlsgnkljsdlnk;jgpiogwopubpiuvwiom[09[M jsd; jvsddsijfj!!!!!!
- RIP Bill Buchanan.
1) Arlo Glass - Was starting to figure things out because Jason Pillar was being douchy to him, and after Chloe convinced him to help her, he has put all of his eggs in the basket of justice. Works well with a Sprint Mobile HotSpot.
2) BITCH - DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
3) Charles Logan - Cute when he was picking out which fancy tie to wear. And very obviously consumed with having his "good" name restored by the President because he's fixing all of her problems. Of course, by fixing all of her problems I actually mean ruining her life. His neck fat has that extra special wiggle to it when Jason calls with bad news.
4) Chloe O'Brian - Once again, Chloe has figured out a way around whatever government firewalls that are set up to stop her from getting the job done. A true goddess when it comes to networking and saving countries.
5) Cole Ortiz - Poor Cole is so conflicted. He wants to help Jack. He doesn't want to help Jack. He knows Jack is after justice. He knows Jack doesn't want justice, just revenge. He hates BITCH. He still deep down loves BITCH. BITCH is dead... Cole has had better days certainly. His sass towards Jason Pillar was fun times though!
6) Renee Walker - Such a huge tease when we saw Renee at the beginning of the "Previously on 24" section wearing nothing but a sheet and Jack's love sweat. I miss her. A moment of silence please.
Thank you.
7) Jack Bauer - For the second time in recent weeks, he was 1 step ahead of a plot to capture him, this time taking out an entire crew of Russian mercenaries in the middle of a crowded mall. He is literally unstoppable. Then after he and Mr. Blonde captured the stoned Russian Pavel, he absolutely tortured the SHIT out of him. He is absolutely crazed. When the Russian said, "Go to hell" and Jack responded with, "You first," I actually squirted out a little pee. Then when he cut the guy's guts out and fished the SIM card out of his stomach - holy crap! Jack is my hero.
8) Jason Pillar - All smug and shit until he realized that it's Jack Bauer he's chasing, not some run-of-the-mill ex-marine. He seems to think he's God's gift to this earth, or at least God's gift to Charles Logan, but when Jack kills him too it will be totally awesome.
9) Allison Taylor - Looks like she's going to cry at any moment, especially when Logan continues to give her bad news. That bitch slap from Dalia Hassan that we all know is coming is going to be sweeeeeet.
10) Ethan Kanin - Resting comfortably at home while President Taylor falls apart at the seams without his guidance. I hope he has sufficiently recovered from his heart attack so that he's ready to go when he's elected President for the movie while Taylor and Logan rot in prison together for covering up the Russian's scam.
Other random thoughts on Monday night's episode:
- Meredith Reed has entirely too much plastic surgery in her cheeks. It looks like it's impossible for her to smile, not that she could ever see anything funny because her gigantic cheeks are pushing her eyes closed.
- Mr. Blonde cracks me up. He's got all this weaponry and high-tech gear, can spy on everyone in the world at the push of a button... and he fails to realize the ol' drop-your-cell-phone-on-the-ground-and-swallow-the-SIM-card trick. Come on Michael!
- Jason Pillar's assistant Eden is probably the only hot computer nerd in this world. She's a techie geek's wet dream. Wouldn't be surprised if she ate a little Pillar dong when they fogged up the windows in the CTU Director's office.
- It's already unfair for the world when it's Jack Vs. The World... but now they're going to give him a full body armor suit next week?!? jsdgjlsgnkljsdlnk;jgpiogwopubpiuvwiom[09[M jsd; jvsddsijfj!!!!!!
- RIP Bill Buchanan.
Long Live Logan!
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