MMBF - 5/19: Welcome to the JCSC

Hola everyone, and welcome to the exceedingly late and lackluster Monday Morning Brain Fart, appropriately renamed in the logo to your right. I've been really busy, not only with work, but with playing with my new Macbook Pro (bitches!), so clearly the time to write in this blog hasn't been plentiful. I have reached a free moment, however, so please enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Friday night I began the evening with dinner and various boozings at the 6th Ward, a delightful bar on New York City's lower east side that I highly suggest you check out. Good service, good food, cheap bear, and a nice little outdoor beer garden-type area. Afterwards, we made our way across the street to the Mercury Lounge to my AT&T brother's band, The King Left. It was the release party for their new album Perfect Without People, and they put on a pretty good live show, so I suggest you check them out sometime when you get the chance. Oh wait. They broke up after the show. Nevermind. Buy the album anyway (here), but if you wanted to see them live, you are shit out of luck my friend.



Saturday was the second leg of horse racing's Triple Crown, the Preakness Stakes. Unlike the Kentucky Derby, I did not attend this race, though Louey Colicchio did, and he was happy to report that it was just as sloppy as the Derby, sans rain. As for the actual race, I forget who won, nor did I really care since it wasn't the horse that won the Derby nor did I have any money riding on it. The Biz had money on it, however, and after losing all of it, she uttered this exact phrase while the post-race interviews were happening: "My favorite interview in all of sports is the jockey interview from horse to horse." That has nothing to do with her losing money of course, but it's good to see that being poor doesn't distract The Biz from enjoying her favorite interview in all of sports.

I went to Tasti D-Lite on Grove St. in the JC this weekend for the first time, and let me tell you: it was neither tasty nor delightful. First of all, the owner (or the guy who I imagine is the owner) was annoying as shit. He was dressed in a pink shirt with the hipster Castro hat, which immediately looked annoying, and he then proceeded to ask us at least 25 times if we had any questions about how and what to order. After finally making him go away by ignoring him, he came back and continued: "You sure you don't have any questions? Seriously. Anything. Ask me anything. Need samples? Really? Don't wanna try anything? You have no questions? I'll answer anything. Anything you need to know about this place. Huh. No questions huh? Ok.... seriously, you have no questions? I'm going to go run out in traffic!" I only made that last sentence up. SHUT THE FUCK UP BUDDY. So then I was hoping that the ice cream on tap would redeem the place, but I was sadly mistaken. The Dutch Chocolate tasted more like the paper that comes out of a Dutchman's inkjet printer. I highly suggest you never go there, 1) because the ice cream sucks, and 2) because you'll be driven to the brink of suicide by the owner.

Another thing I tried this weekend was the new Bacon Ranch Tortada at Taco Bell (it's not a sandwich). Typically I enjoy anything with bacon in it, and typically I enjoy anything with the words "Taco" and "Bell" in it, so I had high hopes for this particular piece of culinary artistry. I wasn't disappointed. The bacon was an added bonus to the already overwhelmingly delicious Taco Bell flavor. I'd insert the genius prose of Gallen de Robuchon here, but he was too busy stuffing his face with Taco Bell deliciousness to utter a coherent phrase. Was the Bacon Ranch Tortada a staple like the Cheesy Gordita Crunch? No. Nothing is a CGC. Will I order it again? Absolutely. Am I going to start asking questions of myself from now on so that I sound like all analysts on TV? NO. I don't suck.

One quick thing: I've started using my Old Spice Odor Blocker Bodywash, and hot damn do I smell good. Ladies, form a line please.

I was at the Yankees - Red Sawcks game on Monday, and it was absolutely the craziest game I have ever been to in my life. First the Yanks took a 5-0 lead in the first off of Daisuke Shitsuzaka (who like Josh Beckett, is awful... admit it Sawcks fans!), which they eventually blew when they brought in Chan Ho Park (who also sucks) in the 8th. So they were down 9-7 in the bottom of the 9th, and as you know, A-Rod tied it up with a 2 run homer that immediately followed Daddy saying to me, "There's no way A-Douche comes through in the clutch 2 times in 4 days." Then a couple batters later, Marcus Thames won it with a 2 run homer of his own - Absolute pandemonium at the stadium. We were all jumping around like little school girls, hugging complete strangers, most of which were fat and sweaty, and screaming our heads off. It was unreal. You can't tell me that the juice has been taken out of the Yanks-Sawcks rivalry because the Sawcks are having a down year, Michael Kay, and you saw why this was the case on Monday. Awesome.

Seeing as it's already Wednesday, there is little to no chance that I'm going to take the time this week to write a full 24 review from this past Monday with all the other things I have going on, so I'll just put a little blurb here. Jack Bauer is INSANE. First he ripped the guts out of the Russian dude who killed Renee (moment of silence please. Thank you.), then he put on a FULL BODY ARMOR SUIT and captured President Logan by himself, then he went to the UN by himself and killed every single Russian there, including the main guy Novacovich, who he drove a gold fire poker completely through. First of all, Jack against the world is already unfair for the world when he doesn't have a full body armor suit on. Second, Logan screams like a little girl when he's in trouble. "IT'S JACK BAUER! AND HE'S COMING AFTER MEEEEEEE!!!!" Third, Logan gave Jack everything he wanted to know faster than I would have if Jack was torturing me (pussy). And fourth, Jack was of course smart enough to bug Logan so that he could hear his conversations later, which revealed to him that Russian President Suvarov was behind the entire thing! I was literally peeing in my pants for hours last night during and after this episode, and I could not be more excited for the finale. I need it now.



And finally, I'd like to tell you about a little group I'm starting, called the Jersey City Supporters Club, better known as the JCSC. We are the unofficial official supporters club from, you guessed it, Jersey City, for our beloved New York Red Bulls. I, The Chairman of the JCSC, have fallen hard for our local footballers, and will try to go to every home game that I possibly can, and I want you to join me! The official pregame watering hole of the JCSC is Lucky 7's, located on Coles and 2nd in the JC. We'll typically go there about 3 hours before gametime, then leave for Harrison on the PATH about 1 hour before gametime. Red Bull Arena is awesome, and the Red Bulls are pretty good this year, so there's really no better time to jump on the bandwagon. Plus Thierry Henry is coming! Their next home game is tomorrow at 8:00 PM against Columbus Crew, which coughcoughi won't be attendingcoughcough, but you should go anyway! And for home games after that, I'll see you at Lucky 7's!

Ugh. Another week of work. Though at least this one only has 2 days left in it.