Kill yourself, Dana Walsh. And let it be known from now on that I will never refer to her by name in this blog EVER again. She shall henceforth be known as BITCH.
Let's revisit our handy-dandy character key to discuss last night's episode of real life, er, I mean, 24:
1) Arlo Glass - Was hot on the trail of the cab of 4 Indians with a nuclear bomb until that BITCH screwed with the satellites and threw them off course. Thankfully he didn't hit on her in this episode. He'll feel really dirty when he finds out the truth about BITCH.
2) BITCH - YOU BITCH! (BEEP) YOU YOU STUPID (BEEP BEEP BEEP) SLUT WHORE PIECE OF (BEEP BEEP) I'M GOING TO STAB YOUR (BEEP BEEP BEEP) EYEBALLS YOU (BEEP) WAIT TIL COLE FINDS OUT YOU (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP) I WANT YOU TO DIE YOU (BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)
3) Brian Hastings - The spirit of Bill Buchanan is getting stronger and stronger with this one. His speech to everyone at CTU as they approached under 50 minutes until the bomb went off was inspiring, and you're starting to see that he's catching on to the BITCH's shenanigans. Keep it up, Brian. And as always, RIP Bill Buchanan. Your country grieves your loss every single day.
4) Chloe O'Brian - Still God behind the keyboard, though she was temporarily thrown off by the BITCH disabling the satellites. Doesn't matter what the BITCH does though, Chloe will figure it all out eventually.
5) Cole Ortiz - Showed us a keen sense of direction and knowledge of the New York City streets, as well as continued his wonderful reign as Jack's right hand man. Also showed us his instinct when he pointed out to Jack that it was "convenient" that the satellites went out right as they were about to catch the cab with the rods in it. I am, however, surprised that Jack didn't kill Cole through the phone when Cole had the audacity to question Chloe's integrity. I would suggest never doing that again, Cole.
6) Renee Walker - Makes quite the partner with Jack, as they teamed up to take out a whole team of elite US Marines by themselves. Continues to show us her pinpoint accuracy on the 9 mill, while at the same time looking very hot.
7) Jack Bauer - The Man. The Myth. The Legend. When President Taylor wants something done, she calls on Jack Bauer, and once again he delivered by saving President Hassan's life even though he may or may not have broken ribs and a collapsed lung. If I have a son and he grows up to be .0001% the man that Jack is, my son will be the 2nd greatest human to ever walk this Earth. 2nd to Jack, of course.
8) Omar Hassan - While under siege by the Marines who wanted to turn him over to the terrorists, he showed us that he too is quite handy with a 9 millimeter. Not sure about his genes, however, as Kyla Hassan is turning out to be pretty useless. First she falls in love with a terrorist and lets him become Omar's head of security, then she sprains her ankle as they're running from the marines and slows the whole party down. She sucks.
9) Allison Taylor - Delivered a stirring, impassioned speech about the core values of America when presented with the idea of just turning Hassan over to the terrorists to avoid the bomb going off in NYC. Also knows to call Jack Bauer when she needs something done. Smart lady.
10) Rob Weiss - Now THIS guy is in a whole shitload of trouble. He went along with General Buckner's idea to capture Hassan and turn him over to the terrorists, which failed because of Jack Bauer. Then he decided to let Ethan Kanin suffer through a heart attack instead of calling an ambulance for fear of Kanin snitching on them. I hope he's ready for hell to be unleashed on him.
Other random thoughts on last night's proceedings:
- I think Samir, the lead terrorist, is the calmest terrorist in history. That guy never smiles, or frowns, or gets angry... nothing. Just goes about his business, ruining lives and killing thousands. Ho hum.
- Tarin, who is now charged with driving the bomb to it's detonation site, is looking a little skittish to me. He has that look on his face that makes me believe that he won't go through with it, even though he has begun the countdown. Maybe he does actually love Kyla and she is pregnant with his child, a little terrorist fetus, that he doesn't want to die in the explosion. How cute!
- Agent O'Connor, the female Secret Service agent who was leading the team to escort President Hassan out of the UN before Jack showed up, has some SERIOUS nuts. That girl is badass! After holding off the marines for a while, she looks up at Jack, tells him she knows what she has to do, then jumps up from cover and starts firing liked a crazy person. I assume she's dead, but if she isn't, she deserves a spin-off!
- I'm not going to give away who, just in case you didn't see the scenes from next week, but (Enter name here) is BACK!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ;LSJDNGO IEGN;SLDKNV;LDSLV;DJ;DFJLK;FLKDNS;LJA]JO[F Weinogp98HG3[u!!!!!!!!!!
(pants wetting)
Let's revisit our handy-dandy character key to discuss last night's episode of real life, er, I mean, 24:
1) Arlo Glass - Was hot on the trail of the cab of 4 Indians with a nuclear bomb until that BITCH screwed with the satellites and threw them off course. Thankfully he didn't hit on her in this episode. He'll feel really dirty when he finds out the truth about BITCH.
2) BITCH - YOU BITCH! (BEEP) YOU YOU STUPID (BEEP BEEP BEEP) SLUT WHORE PIECE OF (BEEP BEEP) I'M GOING TO STAB YOUR (BEEP BEEP BEEP) EYEBALLS YOU (BEEP) WAIT TIL COLE FINDS OUT YOU (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP) I WANT YOU TO DIE YOU (BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)
3) Brian Hastings - The spirit of Bill Buchanan is getting stronger and stronger with this one. His speech to everyone at CTU as they approached under 50 minutes until the bomb went off was inspiring, and you're starting to see that he's catching on to the BITCH's shenanigans. Keep it up, Brian. And as always, RIP Bill Buchanan. Your country grieves your loss every single day.
4) Chloe O'Brian - Still God behind the keyboard, though she was temporarily thrown off by the BITCH disabling the satellites. Doesn't matter what the BITCH does though, Chloe will figure it all out eventually.
5) Cole Ortiz - Showed us a keen sense of direction and knowledge of the New York City streets, as well as continued his wonderful reign as Jack's right hand man. Also showed us his instinct when he pointed out to Jack that it was "convenient" that the satellites went out right as they were about to catch the cab with the rods in it. I am, however, surprised that Jack didn't kill Cole through the phone when Cole had the audacity to question Chloe's integrity. I would suggest never doing that again, Cole.
6) Renee Walker - Makes quite the partner with Jack, as they teamed up to take out a whole team of elite US Marines by themselves. Continues to show us her pinpoint accuracy on the 9 mill, while at the same time looking very hot.
7) Jack Bauer - The Man. The Myth. The Legend. When President Taylor wants something done, she calls on Jack Bauer, and once again he delivered by saving President Hassan's life even though he may or may not have broken ribs and a collapsed lung. If I have a son and he grows up to be .0001% the man that Jack is, my son will be the 2nd greatest human to ever walk this Earth. 2nd to Jack, of course.
8) Omar Hassan - While under siege by the Marines who wanted to turn him over to the terrorists, he showed us that he too is quite handy with a 9 millimeter. Not sure about his genes, however, as Kyla Hassan is turning out to be pretty useless. First she falls in love with a terrorist and lets him become Omar's head of security, then she sprains her ankle as they're running from the marines and slows the whole party down. She sucks.
9) Allison Taylor - Delivered a stirring, impassioned speech about the core values of America when presented with the idea of just turning Hassan over to the terrorists to avoid the bomb going off in NYC. Also knows to call Jack Bauer when she needs something done. Smart lady.
10) Rob Weiss - Now THIS guy is in a whole shitload of trouble. He went along with General Buckner's idea to capture Hassan and turn him over to the terrorists, which failed because of Jack Bauer. Then he decided to let Ethan Kanin suffer through a heart attack instead of calling an ambulance for fear of Kanin snitching on them. I hope he's ready for hell to be unleashed on him.
Other random thoughts on last night's proceedings:
- I think Samir, the lead terrorist, is the calmest terrorist in history. That guy never smiles, or frowns, or gets angry... nothing. Just goes about his business, ruining lives and killing thousands. Ho hum.
- Tarin, who is now charged with driving the bomb to it's detonation site, is looking a little skittish to me. He has that look on his face that makes me believe that he won't go through with it, even though he has begun the countdown. Maybe he does actually love Kyla and she is pregnant with his child, a little terrorist fetus, that he doesn't want to die in the explosion. How cute!
- Agent O'Connor, the female Secret Service agent who was leading the team to escort President Hassan out of the UN before Jack showed up, has some SERIOUS nuts. That girl is badass! After holding off the marines for a while, she looks up at Jack, tells him she knows what she has to do, then jumps up from cover and starts firing liked a crazy person. I assume she's dead, but if she isn't, she deserves a spin-off!
- I'm not going to give away who, just in case you didn't see the scenes from next week, but (Enter name here) is BACK!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ;LSJDNGO IEGN;SLDKNV;LDSLV;DJ;DFJLK;FLKDNS;LJA]JO[F Weinogp98HG3[u!!!!!!!!!!
(pants wetting)
"terrorist fetus" made me laugh a lot and I like it when you give people nicknames, like Bitch... it makes them more memorable.
ReplyDeleteI am happy the number system is back.
ReplyDelete