3/19/10

Why New Jersey is Awesome: Reason 10

Our Citizens are Ambitious and Goal-Oriented

Many people come to America because this is a land where dreams come true. It's a land of opportunity. If you want something, you go out and you make it happen. Hard work pays off. Dreams come true.

A microcosm of this American spirit is the great state of New Jersey, the greatest of all the states here is this great country. Truth be told, the "Land of Opportunity" actually began here in New Jersey, then grew to the rest of the country when everyone else found it to be so awesome. The citizens of this wonderful state are an ambitious lot. We set goals, and we achieve them. There is no mountain too high, nor bridges too far. It is all within your reach here in the most incredible piece of land in this country.

Take for instance this go-getter from our great state that I learned about in one of the most reputable and scrupulous publications in the US, the New York Post. (be sure to come back after reading the link. I have no idea how to program the link to open in a different window).

Talk about goals! Talk about ambition! This woman is going up against history, and who dares to doubt her? There can only be 1 fattest woman in the world, and Donna Simpson is going to be that woman, because if a person from New Jersey sets a lofty target such as this one, they always hit that target. You think a woman from Ohio could do this? California? Kentucky? Please. Serious dreamers only need apply. And you'll only find an ambitious hero like this in the great state of New Jersey.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Thought for Food - Donna Simpson, Le Whif & Cat Litter
www.colbertnation.com
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As you can see, this has garnered so much attention that the most well-respected and integrity-filled journalist of our time, Stephen Colbert, decided to feature it on his nightly news program this past Tuesday night. (You may have noticed a loud "WHOOP" at the very beginning when he said New Jersey for the first time - yep. That was me in the crowd.) Now, he only decided to feature this woman because he knew she could attain her lofty goal because she's from New Jersey. If Donna was from Pennsylvania, Colbert wouldn't have even sniffed this story, because he knows that only the women of the fine state of New Jersey have the gumption and the intestinal fortitude - not to mention capacity - to strive for such greatness.

You will also see in the video that she has been receiving food gifts from people around the country so that she may achieve her goal more quickly. Donna, please heed the following warning from a fellow New Jerseyan: BEWARE OF GIFTS SENT TO YOU FROM PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF NEW JERSEY. They are only jealous of your zeal for greatness because they are unable to muster up the determination to achieve such greatness on their own. If I were you, I would only trust gifts from the great people of the great state of New Jersey. We are your friends. We will help you to become a legend.

Keep up the great work, Donna. New Jersey stands behind you. Well, next to you if we want to see anything in front of us... you get the idea though.

3 comments:

  1. She truely is an American hero. And actually trying to be that large is a very hard goal to accomplish. I am far too lazy to do such a thing.

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  2. I feel I should have bigger goals for now and after college after hearing about this enthusiastic woman. Being reminded how awesome Jersey is does make me feel better.

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