MMBF - 3/15: The Reason We Pay For HBO

Hola. First off I'd like to offer my most sincere apologies for not writing anything last week because I was entirely too busy to do so, though perhaps apologies aren't in order because my lack of prose gave you one less crappy website to peruse. So actually, you're welcome! But anyway, on to my weekly fix of needless crap that I force on your life.

I believe in the past I have established that Zane Lamprey, host of Three Sheets, has the greatest job in the world. Basically, he gets to travel the world, get shitfaced, and tell jokes on camera. And they pay him for this. Incredible, right? Well I now know who has the second greatest job in the world, and that would Adam Richman, host of Man vs. Food. He has more or less the same job as Zane, only replace the "get shitfaced" part with "stuff his face with delicious food." He goes to a city, visits a couple of greasy chow places like Primanti Bros. in Pittsburgh (the place with the french fries sandwiches), and then ends each episode by taking on that city's signature food challenge, which could be anything from eating 6 of the world's spiciest buffalo wings in 6 minutes to eating 7 different steaks in a half hour. I challenge you to find a show that makes you more hungry. Check it out on the Travel Channel.

Another show I recently discovered that was incredible is Ghost Adventures, also on the Travel Channel. Basically these 3 guys go to places that are haunted and try to record ghosts on camera. Yawn - it's been done. But not the way Ghost Adventures does it! The 3 guys in this show aren't nerdy tech geeks, they are 3 of the biggest frat boy douche bags you will ever meet, straight out of Jersey Shore. And they are led by the biggest roid-raged douche of them all, Zak. So the 3 of them load up on Red Bulls and Muscle Milk and stay up all night in a haunted building, threatening the ghosts with their tight shirts, huge muscles and gelled hair. Then one of them feels a chill on the back of their neck, and the following discourse takes place:

"Dude, did you feel that?!?!"
"No dude! What did you feel?!?!"
"Bro! Tell me what you felt?!?!"
"Dude, I felt a chill! It kinda hurt too, bro!"
"Bro! That's insane!"
"HEY GHOST! DO THAT AGAIN! I LOVE THE PAIN, BRO!!!!"
"Bro, that was sick dude!"
"I know bro! Dude, something is definitely in here bro!"

And that continues for about another 5 minutes, but you get the idea. Then they go into how ghosts hate renovation, so if you fix an old building the ghosts will possess you and make you kill your fellow juiceheads. I'm not making this up. It's hilarious. You NEED to check it out, at least once.



This past Saturday in The JC was pretty terrible weather-wise, with a monsoon threatening to tear down every high-rise in site. So instead of stepping foot outside and doing something useful with our lives, we decided to stay in and try to exact revenge on the Canadians, NHL 10 style. Naturally, we were the Americans, and first we embarked on a best-of-5 series. Unfortunately we dug ourselves too great a hole to clime out of, going down 2 games to none before finally losing the series in Game 5. After a short break, we started a fresh 7 game series, much to the chagrin of our girlfriends, who were biding their time with Cosmo and other informative publications while we ignored them. Ultimately, our efforts proved fruitless as the Canadians beat us again in 6 games. No revenge for the USA. We embarrassed our country. But you can be sure we will give it another go.

Another byproduct of the rainy holiday on Saturday was a viewing of one of the greatest cinematic achievements of our time, or any time: The Princess Bride. It was made in 1987, but it still holds up to this day - just a perfect comedy. If you haven't seen it, you're not only doing a disservice to yourself, but you're doing a disservice to your family and your country. It's inconceivable!... if you haven't seen it yet. Ha! If you've seen the movie you know what I just did there!

Sunday I was blessed with last-second New York Rangers tickets, though with the way this year has gone that would be seen more as a curse rather than a blessing. Either way, I attended, and they gifted me with a much-needed win against the Filthadelphia Flyers, 3-1. I expected the game to be much more intense seeing as this was the first time the two teams played since Flyers' goon Daniel Carcillo fought Marian Gaborik the last time, which is something you just don't do in hockey (go after the other teams best skill player with a fighter). So my thinking was revenge was on the docket for yesterday afternoon, and it eventually was after we had gone up 3-1 when Brandon Dubinsky beat the living crap out of the Flyers' best player, Mike Richards. It was sweet to see, and Dubie can now add an addition to the home he already has in my heart. Sean Avery also played a fantastic game after last game's benching, scoring 2 goals and making Philly take 3 bad penalties because he had gotten into their heads. When he's on top of his game, the Rangers are a different team. Keep it up, Sean.

Sometimes I wonder why my roommates and I pay what we pay for HBO, especially in between seasons of shows that we watch, like Entourage, when there isn't too much on. Yes, it's nice to have the channel to go to if you just want to watch a random movie or the occasional sports documentary, but for the most part I stay away from it. That is until a miniseries like The Pacific comes along and reminds us why we subscribe to the channel in the first place. For those of you who don't know, The Pacific is like Band of Brothers (a 10-part miniseries), only this one is about the Pacific theater of WWII instead of in Europe, obviously. First off, Joe Mazzello, better know as Tim the Human Piece of Toast from Jurassic Park (the greatest movie of all time), is in it, so it already is awesome. Second, it looks incredible, is very well-acted, and tells a compelling story. Part 1 was last night, with the 9 remaining parts to come on consecutive Sundays. It is like an amazing WWII film, only one that's 10 hours long. You absolutely need to get The Pacific into your life, if it isn't already.

Ugh. Another week of work.