I'M BEGGING YOU GIANTS, CUT LAWRENCE TYNES

It's obvious from the title what this post is about, but I'm going to say it again. Cut Lawrence Tynes, Giants. Cut him. Cut him before he ruins our season. Cut him before my fellow Giants fans and I picket outside of Giants Stadium to demand that you cut him, and when you don't, we set fire to ourselves and die - a fiery death caused by missed field goals and botched extra points. It's going to happen if you don't cut him. I know you've had enough of Tynes' ineptitude, Mr. Coughlin. Convince Jerry Reese he needs to go. Now. Before it's too late.

"But Steve, didn't Tynes hit that great overtime field goal at Lambeau in subzero temperatures 2 years ago to send you to Super Bowl XLII?" Why yes my friend. And before I continue, why don't we watch that great moment:



Hold on onnnneeeeeee second....

(Steve urinates all over himself uncontrollably)

Ok, I'm good now. Yes, he did hit that kick, that glorious kick that sent us to the Super Bowl. But if he had just hit one of the two much shorter field goals in regulation, he never would have had to make this kick, not too mention giving my dad and I a heart attack. He made it, we went to the Super Bowl, and I am eternally thankful, despite the fact that he took 4-7 years off of my life. But that kick shouldn't give him a lifetime spot on our roster.

After that Super Bowl-winning season the Giants signed him to a 5 year deal, thinking that we had a good, young kicker that would bring consistency to the position for years to come. WRONG. He sucks. I thought we had it bad when scrubs like Matt Bryant and Jay Feely were kicking for us, but hot damn I would take those guys any day over Lawrence Tynes. Tynes makes me nervous when he lines up for an extra point. Let me say that again: HE MAKES ME NERVOUS WHEN HE LINES UP FOR AN EXTRA POINT. An extra point!!! He misses those! I could make those kicks blindfolded! Never before have I been worried about a kicker making an extra point. Now, I worry. It shouldn't be this way. Ever.



This season so far, he has missed a 29 yard field goal week 2 at Dallas, a 21 yard field goal week 3 at Tampa Bay, and a 38 yard field goal week 4 in Kansas City, where he used to play, so it's not like he wasn't used to the turf or anything. Soak that in for a sec. He has missed 3 field goals already this year, 2 of them from INSIDE 30 YARDS! HOW THE HELL DOES THIS GUY STILL HAVE HIS JOB?!??!?!!? CUT HIM NOW GIANTS!! NOWWWWW!!! DSIGH:LSDJKV;LSDVJ;LSDJV;LKSJDV;LKSDJG'IPEHG'PIWnl rmpaoi nablkn ;bamk"oA J'pio AN"BB

(death)

Steve speaking from the dead...
The Giants are 4-0, and so far Tynes' missed field goals haven't lost us any games. But they will. It's a near certainty that a guy who can't kick 20 yard field goals consistently is going to lose you some games down the line, especially with the tougher schedule coming up. This week I was overjoyed to find out that we had brought in Matt Bryant (oye!) and Matt Stover for workouts. Then I was deeply depressed when I learned that they left without contracts, and Tynes was still our kicker. This needs to stop. Please Jerry Reese, cut him now. Cut him before he ruins our season, which despite the injuries, could be a great one. Cut him before my fellow fans light that suicidal bonfire in the Stadium parking lot. Cut him... before it's too late.