MMBF - 4/26: It's the Extravaganza. We do it every year.

Hola chicos y chicas, and welcome back to the Brain Fart! As you know, it was on hiatus for the last week because I was on a cruise ship somewhere in the Bahamas sipping on whiskey and gingers, smoking cuban cigars, and floating on the laziest of lazy rivers at Atlantis in Nassau. Clearly I did not have time to write anything or even think about you people, but now I'm back to the real world, so you can go back to looking forward to Mondays again.

Oh yeah, before I continue, I just wanted to show you a picture of the hot action I got down in the Bahamas. I know, you're jealous. She pleased me like none other.



I spent much of this weekend in front of the TV, and because of this, I watched a lot of really great playoff hockey highlights, most of which involved last second goals and overtime winners that made the crowd go absolutely nuts. There is nothing like playoff hockey. The intensity is incredible. The tension is unbearable. It's arguably the most scintillating few weeks in sports (if you're team is in it). That being said, I'd like to send a big ol' FUCK YOU to Glen Sather and the New York Rangers for depriving me of this excitement. Bastards.

After being denied a weekend of my new favorite team, the Red Bulls, by my vacation, I was able to watch them this past Saturday in their first ever game against the expansion Philadelphia Union, which they won 2-1. The result improved their record to 4-1. Boo yah! Anyway, I finally figured out who midfielder Joel Lindpere looks like after agonizing over it ever since I saw him for the first time: Dustin Pedroia, that scumbag from the Boston Red Sawcks. Now I feel really dirty for rooting for this guy, even if he's from Estonia and literally has zero connections to Pedroia. But just the fact that they look alike really burns my loins. Or maybe that's something else burning my loins at the moment that I got in the Bahamas...



Sunday, I saw The Proposal for the first (and last) time. It's the romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, where Reynolds is forced to marry his boss who he hates (Bullock) so she doesn't get deported back to Canada. I have 2 words for my review of this movie: It sucked. Eli!



And finally, as you all know, this past weekend was the NFL Draft, which of course meant the 3rd Annual NFL Draft/White Castle Extravaganza! And even though Roger Goodell tried to ruin it for us by moving the 1st round to primetime on Thursday and therefore when we weren't home due to vacation, we persevered by DVRing the first round and watching it on Friday in conjunction with rounds 2 and 3. Despite your best efforts Goodell, much White Castle was consumed while much NFL Draft was watched. Suck it, Roger!

Anyway, on to my thoughts about the Draft:

- ESPN's broadcast was AWFUL during rounds 1, 2, and 3. I've always watched ESPN for the NFL Draft, and I always will, particularly because Chris Berman entertains me, but the broadcast itself was pretty bad. Graphics all over the place, dead air, anchors looking confused, field reporters not knowing they are on the air... I would assume many a person got fired. It was funny watching Chris Berman get angry when he was on camera but wasn't supposed to be. In fact, it's always funny watching Chris Berman get angry:



- The Day 3 broadcast of rounds 4-7 featuring ESPN's "B" team, anchored by Trey Wingo, was flawless. Thought that was funny too.

- Jon Gruden loves every player in the draft. No matter what negative things Mel Kiper or Todd McShay had to say about a player, Gruden would always chime in with how much he loved the player and knew he was going to succeed. According to Gruden, every team is going 16-0 this year! A big WOO HOO to parity!

- This was the NFL Draft. The players involved are kids not even in the league yet. And still, ESPN found a way to jizz all over Brett Favre. I hate him.

Now my thoughts on the Giants draft picks!

1) Jason Pierre-Paul, DE, South Florida - We desperately need a middle linebacker, and I wasn't sure who we were going to take after Oakland took Rolando McClain at number 8 (after which I almost threw Scott off my balcony), but I think I like the pick of Pierre-Paul because it's tough to pass up a ridiculous freak athlete like him. We won the Super Bowl with 4 great DE's in 2007, let's do so again in 2010.

2) Linval Joseph, DT, East Carolina - A big fatty for the middle of our D-line so we can stop the run. Like it, but we still need a MLB.

3) Chad Jones, S, LSU - Clearly this pick tells me that despite everything the Giants brass has been saying, Kenny Phillips is far from being fully recovered from his knee injury. Lots of people think Jones could be great though, so we'll see. Still need a MLB.

4) Phillip Dillard, MLB, Nebraska - FINALLY! A MLB! Except this one has a big injury history. Awesome.

5) Mitch Petrus, OL, Arkansas - A big hog of a lineman who could play some guard for us in his rookie year. Apparently can bench press a house.

6) Adrian Tracy, OLB, William & Mary - Who?

7) Matt Dodge, P, East Carolina - Pretty much signals the end of the Jeff Feagles era. According to Tom Coughlin, Feagles is leaning towards retirement. If that's the case, you were the best Jeff, we'll miss you! Now if only Lawrence Tynes would retire...

Ugh. Another week of work.