MMBF - 2/21: I live in Kansas?

No! I don't, because Kansas sucks and it's not New Jersey. But, it did feel that way on Saturday night, which I will get to later. So, hello! Happy President's Day! You're probably off of work today, so I imagine no one will read this until they're at work tomorrow... so happy Tuesday to you all. I am also not at work, though I would be if it wasn't snowing here in the JC. Yeah. Snow. Shocker right?

I checked out an episode of The Chicago Code at some point last week. It's a new cop drama, which there are totally not enough of on TV these days. This one, like most, sucks, but Luke from Friday Night Lights is in it, and boy is he dreamy. Worth checking out once just for him.

The SI Swimsuit Issue came out this week, which means that millions of little boys around the country have discovered what a boner is. They may not know what it's called, but they sure as hell like it.

I'd like to take a moment and introduce you to the next big television star. She is from humble beginnings and is just starting to grow what will be one of the world's great media empires. Allow her to show you her crib:



May we be seeing more of that beautiful gap-toothed grin (aka, diastema, for all you dentists out there) in the future?

I think this guy should have narrated Life, not Oprah, who sucked taint:



That honey badger is crazy!

Eeeeeeeeeeee.... awkward!



But who doesn't love a good dick joke right?! I thought about this, and it may actually be a complement to the male anchor. Yes, the 2 clearly bumped the nasties. So first of all, good for him! She is hot. And second, even though she clearly says his wang piece is tiny, she didn't disagree with him that it was impressive. So basically, he was a stallion in the bedroom even though his dong is the size of a thimble. Mad props, brother.

The leading breakfast chefs of our time (courtesy of The Biz):



This past week was when Watson the super computer was on Jeopardy, taking on the foremost nerds of our time, Ken Jennings (who owns the record for most wins in a row), and Brad Rutter (who owns the record for most money won on the show). It was annoying because Watson could buzz in faster than both of them, so as a result, he completely slaughtered them. It was funny, however, watching Ken Jennings every time Watson beat him to the buzzer because it looked like he wanted to shoot up a school full of small children. It was interesting to see an artificial intelligence be that smart, but how far do we take it? Remember what happens when the machines become aware...

My thoughts on Top Chef this week:

- It was GREAT to see Kevin on the Target commercial during the show. He was the man, and totally should have been on this All-Stars season. Who doesn't love a good ginger?
- I thought the Sesame Street quickfire was a lot fun, but the Target challenge was pretty ridiculous. The entire show was like one big Target commercial, though I know Scotty loved that.
- It was good to see the judges base their elimination decision solely on this challenge and this challenge alone, but I get the feeling they don't often do that, which is why I was absolutely shocked that Angelo went home instead of Tiffany. How is she still on the show?!
- Angelo was very gracious in defeat. I felt he could have taken a few shots at Mike Isabella for not only bossing him around during the challenge, but possibly being the reason why Angelo oversalted his food so bad (though maybe that's just what the editors wanted us to think).
- I continue to find it amazing that A) Blais almost never wins a challenge even though he is the shit, and B) great chefs like these are so often guilty of simple things like adding too much salt. Aren't they past that phase in their careers and shouldn't simple mistakes like that just not happen? The Chef of the Century is not pleased.

The people of Fort Wayne, IN have no sense of humor whatsoever.

Another week, another incredible episode of Jersey Shore. So many poop jokes this week! I LOVE POOP JOKES. And I learned a new word: Sloppapotamus (spelling?). I'm going to try and use that everyday now, much to the chagrin of those close to me.

I hate the Devils, they really know how to suck the life out of hockey. That being said, they still suck, and we should be able to beat them. Goddamn Rangers always have to make life difficult.

I enjoyed a little slice of heaven this past weekend, aka, I went to Taqueria, the best restaurant EVER that you've never heard of. It's in the JC (of course) on the corner of Grand and Grove. You need this.



I saw The Town over the weekend. Awesome movie. Continues the tradition of Ben Affleck only being good in movies where he puts on his ridiculous Boston accent and wears nothing but Bruins cardigans. If you haven't seen it, do so. It also teaches us a valuable lesson in life (SPOILER ALERT): Crime pays! Even if all your friends die. At the end, we see that Affleck has gotten away scot free, is rich, and still has the heart of the hot chick that he kidnapped and psychologically tortured. Good work if you can get it!

And finally, it was like Kansas up in this piece this past weekend because it was so unbelievably windy. JC is always a freakin' wind tunnel, but holy moses was it crazy out thurr!



This is a picture I took of a Washington Blvd. sign being blown off the post, but it doesn't show you that EVERY Washington Blvd. sign was blown off the posts and ended up decapitating small children and puppies in the streets. I only made part of that sentence up. It was nuts, yo.