MMBF - 4/11: A Phenomenal Week in Sports

Greetings on this Monday morning in April that was supposed to be 80 and sunny but is instead 56 and incredibly foggy, so much so that apparently everyone forgot how to operate their automobiles today, making my commute to work somewhat of a disaster. However, none of that could get me down because of the sports high I am on from last week! The deets:

The UConn Huskies are National Champions! In the worst basketball game I have ever seen in my life. That. Was. Brutal. But no matter! A win's a win, especially when it happens to come in the national title game. My thoughts:

- Charles Barkley is a genius. I couldn't stop laughing when he talked about how he dated ugly girls before he became rich and successful, at which point the girls got better looking. As long as they weren't fat, Charles. As long as they weren't fat.
- Jim Nantz needs to take it easy with the word play. "Kemba Walker Texas Ranger?" Seriously???
- Speaking of Nantz going overboard:
- Nevermind, CBS had the video taken down. Assholes. But anyway, Nantz said "UConn are the top dogs," "The Bulldogs and Huskies are getting in a dog fight," and "UConn was best in show." Christ. We get it Jim. Both teams have canine mascots. Where is Gus Johnson when you need him?
- Alex Oriakhi was definitely the MVP of that game. Butler had no idea how to handle him.
- Neils Giffey has the worst beard ever. Even I can do better than that, and that's saying something.
- The championship shirts and hats that they put on after they won are atrocious. What an awful design.
- What an unbelievable run by UConn with the run in the Big East Championship and now the national title. Totally unreal. Not going to see that happen again for a long time.
- Butler is half-way to becoming just like the Buffalo Bills!

If I could grow a beard like Brian Wilson, I would seriously be the happiest man in the world. Check this out. (Thanks The Biz).

There's a new show coming out on HBO called Game of Thrones. They trailer showed a lot of sex and midgets. Sex and midgets?!?? How could it suck?!

Fast Five?! Really?! Vin Diesel and The Rock?! This is way too much to handle. Car chases and Asian biddies grinding other Asian biddies. I hope Ja Rule is in it too.



Really? A Phoenix, a Flying Squirrel, and a Lake Beast are the best we could come up with for a new Ithaca College mascot? Why don't we add a Crunchy Hippy in there while we're at it?

This is one of the greatest ideas I have ever heard. And here is the dude's blog so you can follow him in his quest for religious manliness. (Gracias Little Gallen.)

Sweet, I'm going to my first game at Yankees game this season tonight! (Wednesday.) Shit! Rain-out.

Big Ben is getting married! I've heard of people being forced to have sex during rape, but being forced into marriage? Impressive Ben. Read this, and pay particular attention to the 2nd to last paragraph. I wonder what religious faith involved rapin' biddies?

Manny Ramirez - Once a cheater, always a cheater. You gotta be some kind of dumbass to roid-up again after already having been caught twice. But I suppose that's typical of that douche.

It was incredibly painful watching Rory McIlroy choke away the Masters on Sunday. That kid was ready to puke after every missed putt, and there were A LOT of them. And what kind of name is Charl anyway?

It was an interesting, yet ultimately fantastic week to be a New York Hockey Rangers fan. The progression:

- Ryan Callahan is out for the year? We're fucked. We seriously can't catch a break in the injury department but it looks like it's a side effect of how this team plays, and that is certainly not going to change.
- Rangers fucking blew it against Atlanta. What an awful showing. Probably not going to make the playoffs now.
- Rangers make the playoffs! We shit on the Devils, then watched the Lightning shit on the Hurricanes. Thank you Tampa! Washington, COME GET SOME!